Dear Ruby,
I'm sorry I got all choked up and cry-ey tonight at bedtime. It started out ok, you and I making small talk while I tucked you in. Em and Daddy were having a chat, so we just kept on conversing, ourselves. You asked about the illustrations on your walls. It's the first time you've really taken an interest in the pictures. I guess, because they've just been there as long as you've existed, there's been nothing to question. At any rate, the pictures in the frames are some of my favorite pages from The Velveteen Rabbit. Which is one of my favorite stories. I've read it a thousand times and still can't complete it without tears. The good kind, though.
So, there I was, telling you about those pictures, pointing out the nursery fairy, the rabbit and the boy.
Reminding you that many of the pictures of the boy and the bunny look much like the scene in your own bed... precious dolls tucked into tunnels made of blankets.
Then, I told you that I'd always planned to put those pictures on the walls of my baby's nursery. That the day I found out I was having two babies I bought an extra copy of the book to use for decorating. I told you about picking out the pretty green wall paint called forest light and how Daddy did all the painting and building of shelves in your room.
And, then, those big fat tears started rolling down my cheeks....
When I got to the part about putting together the framed illustations.
Roo, I've had that copy of The Velveteen Rabbit a long time. Maybe 12 years. That's how long I've been waiting to put those pictures on my baby's wall, decorating a nursery to match. I suppose that those pictures conjure up a touch of wistful and a bit of sad, longing, hope along with the mountains of happy. So, that's why I started crying tonight.
You sure were sweet about it. You smiled at me, touched my face and patiently asked another question. Then, you said you loved me and gave me a goodnight kiss. I sort of felt like you were tucking me in tonight. You're going to be a good mama someday. Maybe you'll even use one or two of the bunny pictures in your baby's room.
love,
Mama
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